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I have been studying depression for years. One thing I noticed is that if a person gets depressed, he usually goes through a denial stage. I didn't. Oftentimes, the moment I sense something is wrong, I go straight to find out if there is. And if there is, move on – find out how to correct or remedy the wrong.
Unfortunately, despite my immediate acceptance of my depression and active pursuit of treatment, I continue to suffer from it. So, I move on and continue looking for the appropriate treatment.
In pursuit of what will at least curb my depression, I’ve bought and read a lot of self-help books, attended seminars, and inevitably or not, I’ve seen a psychiatrist and resorted to taking anti-depressants. I also did a lot of browsing the net to learn more about depression, and to some extent, educate people about it to help those suffering from it and guide the others to give the right support. I myself struggle to make the people around me understand what I'm going through. I guess no one can say they understand, unless they've had depression.
I realized that sharing information to others about depression made me feel good. I felt that I wasn’t only helping myself, but helping others, too.
Then, I came across a discussion forum. I joined the group and things got a little better since then. I both responded and asked questions.
I started to respond to a few questions that I thought I might be able to help on such as depression, anxiety, and Information Technology (IT) matters. (I mentioned in About The Pumpink Hat on the main page of this blog that I was in IT for more than 20 years.) Of course I had disclaimer that "I am not an expert, but I understand depression".
After responding to a few questions about depression, either dealing with their own depression or helping a depressed friend or relative, I started receiving requests to answer similar questions and it kept coming day after day. It was amazing! I thought, wow, I must have said something right!
Furthermore, those whose questions I answered replied back with great appreciation of my advice, for enlightening them, and making them feel better. I thought, wow, I must have said something that helped them!
That feeling of being able to help was great! I’ve never felt that way for a long time. That feeling of being able to help people, strangers and faceless at that, despite the lack of expertise, but merely having the same experience and sharing what I’ve gone through, was amazing.
When I am in front of that site, browsing through the questions, imagining how the depressed or anxious person on the other end is feeling and in all likelihood, suffering, typing my answers as I recall my own depressive moments, I forget my own. It is a moment of seeking that attribute of every human being veiled deep within our soul, and using it to benefit others – kindness. Perhaps that kindness is the remedy to my depression. Perhaps that kindness is a source of strength. Perhaps that kindness is who I really am. Perhaps that kindness is
happiness, the opposite of depression. It is true then, as I read in one book, that charity, in any form, is a therapy that can help a depressed person.
Kahlil Gibran said, “Tenderness and kindness are not signs of weakness and despair, but manifestations of strength and resolution.”
Indeed, a help needed by a depressed person is to help others in need. It may not be The Cure that will magically end all depression woes. There might still be a need for exercise, therapy, proper diet, enough sleep, medication (hopefully as a last resort), and prayers. But kindness can never go wrong. Kindness to others and more importantly, kindness to one's self.
“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle.” ― Plato
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